There’s these really cool opening notes to Missy Elliott’s “Joy” (The Cookbook)…after that kind of annoying skit, about one and a half minutes into the track, you hear this beautiful high, elongated note – just the word joy. The first time I heard it (wearing super dope headphones), I got chills. I really felt the joy. I’m assuming that was her goal, but even if it wasn’t, no matter. I felt it.
We’re working on the Distress Tolerance module in skills group this month. Here is what I want to tell you about tolerating distress: we’re not talking about eliminating distress (impossible); we’re not talking about white-knuckling the distress (pain + suffering); we’re talking about riding the wave, waiting until it passes, until the next moment, where endless opportunity awaits – for another emotion, (possibly even joy).
What gives you joy? And I really want you to deeply think on this word. The question is not, what do you find fun? The question is not, what do you like? The question is not, what’s totally awesome and amazing? The question is what gives you joy? Joy is like one of those sting rays at the aquarium that you’re allowed to touch. You ready yourself, get your hand wet, wait with a little trepidation, and look forward with great anticipation to that fleeting moment she passes just underneath your fingertips – soft, smooth, sleek – and gone. Joy is a moment, not a state. We’re lucky when we can find it. We’re luckier when we have a variety of things in our life which bring it to us.
Forget about bucket lists. You need a joy list. Anything that has ever, could ever bring you joy. Because when you need it, you really need it. And you need immediate access.
Here’s my joyful music list. Would love to hear your favorites, too.
Grandma’s Hands….Bill Withers
Blue Sky…..Allman Brothers
The House That Jack Built…..Aretha Franklin
Saldek….Dead Can Dance
Groove is In the Heart…..Dee-Lite
Easy Silence….Dixie Chicks
They Love Each Other…..Grateful Dead
Empire State of Mind….Jay-Z and Alicia Keys
I Love Rock and Roll….Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
You and I…..Lady Gaga
Ramble On….Led Zeppelin
Blueberry Yum Yum…..Ludacris
I’m the Best….Nicki Minaj
Big Poppa…..Notorious B.I.G.
Solsbury Hill….Peter Gabriel
Bouncing Around the Room….Phish
Shake Senora…..Pitbull (feat. T-Pain and Sean Paul)
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic…..The Police
Hallelujah, I Love Her So…..Ray Charles
Jealous of My Boogie…..RuPaul
Rapper’s Delight……The Sugarhill Gang
No One Else on Earth…..Wynonna Judd
At Last……Etta James
Take Me To Another Place…..Arrested Development
It’s Oh So Quiet…..Bjork
Mr. Brown…….Bob Marley
Small Axe……..Bob Marley
Duppy Conqueror…..Bob Marley
Why Can’t I Be You?……The Cure
The Magic Number……De La Soul
Don’t Stop Believin’
And, you know, many of these people may have been/are depressive types. It’s not all about cupcakes and fairy dust here. Moments. Joyful Moments.